Real Talk: Postpartum Depression

Almost as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I began to research the Internet to educate myself on the next step in my life journey. One of the many controversial topics I came across was postpartum depression. I thought to myself, that could never happen to me! I would be so overcome with joy that I could have no room in my heart for sadness. My heart would be so full, it could never been empty. Nine mothers later, I look back on my postpartum journey to gain clarity on my mental and emotional state.




Note: I am not a doctor, psychologist or therapist. This post is not meant to diagnose or cure any disease. If you think you may be experiencing postpartum depression, please speak with your healthcare professional.

According to Postpartum Progress, approximately 950,000 to 1.3 million women suffer PPD each year. That's more than the number of breast cancer, diabetes and stroke diagnoses each year. Despite this staggering statistic, there are very few women willing to speak on behalf of these struggles. After all, for the past nine months (lets be real - ten months) you have been asked when you're due, what the sex is, what their name will be, how excited you are. What kind of mother could feel sadness for finally receiving this blessing? This stigma holds back many women from seeking help from their loved ones or doctor, or even admitting there is a problem. But the time has come to end this fear and silence.

There are a variety of factors that bring on PPD: breastfeeding struggles, preexisting anxiety, stress, returning to work (or choosing to stay at home) and the list goes on. Like other forms of depression, hormone imbalance is the root cause of PPD.

I myself have come to know PPD. After struggling with breastfeeding among other things - graduating college, moving to a new state, being a first time mom, giving up any shred of personal time, starting a new job - all before my daughter turned six months. My hormones have ridden a hellish roller coaster that has admittedly taken some joy out of my life. But it has not consumed me, and I refuse to let it.

Often, when I share my heated emotions, I hear something like "welcome to motherhood" or "we all go through that, it's normal." But when will be stop accepting this darkness and take action to inspire a new light?

*Something to note about PPD is that you still (can) enjoy all the blessings of motherhood - coos, smiles, milestones, holidays - but still be affected. I do not want to give any impression that I do not love my daughter because she is the profound light of my life. 

It is my hope that sharing my experience may inspire other mothers to take a good, long look at their emotional well-being. Inevitably as a mother, you put others needs above your own, but it is essential to spend some time with yourself now and again to restore balance. 

Here are a few things to try when you're in the throws of hormonal imbalance:

1.) Make time for a hobby or past time. For me, I like blogging. Once I've written and published a post, I feel a sense of personal satisfaction, one that I don't get from scrubbing bottles or emptying the diaper geenie. Reading is also especially relaxing, as well as working out (bonus points for releasing endorphins). I say, let the dirty dishes sit and take 30 minutes for yourself while you can. 

2.) Step away. This is entirely different from making time. This happens when you can't make time, but desperately need it. I've had nights where I simply cannot console my baby, to the point I'm ready to crack. That's when you need to put the baby down safely (crib, pack n' play, etc) and step away for a moment. Take a deep breath, and relax. It will be tremendously easier to soothe your baby if you take the time to soothe yourself.

3.) Consider treatment. This does not necessarily mean you have to schedule and appointment with a therapist and seek pharmaceuticals, although that is entirely your right if you choose to do so. There are a variety of natural options including St. John's Wart, fish oil, green tea, meditation, acupuncture, B-vitamins, Magnesium, pumpkin seeds and many more that have been known to help with depression. *Note: Advise with your doctor before taking any supplements, even if they are natural. I highly suggest reaching out to friends, especially mothers, for advice and venting purposes. *Note: Social media is not a friend to vent to. I can't tell you how many times I've regretted sharing my feelings on Facebook.

Remember, you are never alone in experiencing depression or anxiety. There are always options, regardless of financial or political constraints. Take the time to care for yourself, and together, we can conquer PPD and restore balance to our lives.